


Crescent Rolls

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 2 idiots fighting over breakfast foods, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Gen, This is DUMB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:38:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean and Eren both want the last Pillsbury crescent roll. Who will win this intense battle over breakfast?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crescent Rolls

**Author's Note:**

> this is a shitty, tiny, unfinished, and dumb crack fic. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ don't expect much

“Jean, I swear to god. If you don’t hand over that last crescent roll from the toaster oven by the time it dings, I’m gonna shove your goddamn horseface onto the minifridge.”

“Chill your ass, Jaeger. That little fucking pastry is rightfully _mine_ , and if you’d wanted it so badly then you should have grabbed it while it was still sitting innocently in the fridge, all on its lonesome. _There for the taking_.”

Eren fumed, restraining himself from sticking his hand into the scorching hot little oven and burning himself from shoving the partially cooked pastry down his throat. He _had_ to save it from the unfortunate fate of Jean Kirschtein’s bowels, even at the risk of physical harm.

The rotating timer marked “30 seconds left,” and as it counted down, the dough wasn’t the only thing heating up. The air between the quickly agitating students grew thick and heated with rivalry, witnesses only including the crescent roll baking on the counter adjacent.

“I paid for this shit with my hard-earned cash, Kirschtein. If I can’t have it whole, in its _entirety_ ,” Eren emphasized, “then it won’t be going anywhere at all.”

“Fucking fight me for it, smartass. Goddamn empty threats.” Jean had an infuriating smug look on to accompany the challenge. That look never seemed to go away, much to his roommate’s dismay. Said roommate, on the other hand, was breathing heavily now, actually preparing himself for a fight. Jean had only been living in this dorm with Eren for several weeks at this point, and yet they’d already developed a deep mutual hatred of each other. Unfortunately, with all the negative emotions flying around, there was one thing Jean never picked up about Eren- he was _very_ protective of his crescent rolls.

Jean’s confident visage quickly dissipated into one of surprise and the air left his lungs as he found himself being pinned to the opposite wall by Eren, who was surprisingly strong when provoked, and even moreso when a conflict concerned his precious crescent rolls. The darker haired boy’s breath was damp and gross against Jean’s shocked face as Eren growled, “I’ll give you your fucking fight, since you asked so nicely. Those are _my_ crescent rolls, and I’ll get that last one even if it means I get suspended for it.”

By this point, even though the default smirk was back to his face, Jean was actually considering backing down and letting his roommate win the croissant. Eren was oddly attached to the pastries, and Jean weighed his pride (and attached stubbornness) against just how much he hated his asshole of a roommate. Would he rather go through with the fight and have a roughly 50% winning chance for the crescent roll, _or_ wimp out and let Eren steal the damn Pillsbury (and Jean’s pride)?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  _to be continued.............._ NOT

AUTHOR'S NOTES

ok i never really finished this but basically. it's been sitting in my folder for 84 years and i didn't have the heart to delete it so. yeah. they start fighting and they end up burning the poor crescent roll. :( a tragic end to a super serious fic


End file.
